Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

True Stories From The Big Smoke #1

Posted: February 16, 2010 in Humour
Tags: , , , ,

On the Luas coming out of town one afternoon, as we approached the Blackhorse stop the driver made the following announcement: Ladies & Gents there are two plain clothes ticket inspectors getting on at this stop so could you please have your tickets at hand for convenience thank you.

When we pulled up to the stop two people got on and about 50 got off and stood on the platform, clearly waiting on the next train.

When we pulled away the driver got back on the intercom, laughing, and said: I was only joking, there’s no such thing as a plain clothes ticket inspector, I just wanted to see how many people got on without paying!!

Advertisements

I Didn’t Even Know I Was Sick

Posted: January 27, 2010 in Humour
Tags: , ,

I arrived early to church for a funeral service yesterday. I thought I might walk to the funeral home before the procession started, but I didn’t know quite where that was.  So I asked a woman passing by for directions.

“Well, there is a funeral home at the top of the hill, then around the corner to the right. There’s a procession starting from there now, but I don’t know if it’s you’re funeral. “

I thanked her and she walked away, but I was a bit bemused, thinking, “My funeral? I certainly hope it’s not. Do I look that bad?

Today in Sleaze

Posted: January 25, 2010 in Humour
Tags: , , , , ,

Seen on the streaming banner on TV3’s Morning Ireland – In Entertainment: Tiger Woods is in rehab being treated for sex addiction in a bid to save his marriage to his wife Elin. What I want to know is: When did Tiger Woods fall out of the sports category? I don’t need an answer to that. I know this isn’t sports, but how is this entertainment? I guess I know the answer to that as well, as does anyone who ever glances at the front page of a tabloid. But I do think Entertainment is too broad a category for this type of story.

I propose a new category with which to tag “news” items of this type. I considered Sex, but that’s too broad. I mean, really, anything related to money, power and politics could fall into that category. Besides, Sex sounds too clinical. Titillation or Sensationalism could be appropriate, but I’m looking for something short and punchy.  So, I propose that we call this new category Sleaze.

Here are some examples of how I think this category can be used in mainstream news:

  • In Sleaze: New Brittany Spears release hits shops today.
  • In Sleaze: Berlusconi overconfident with female voters.
  • In Sleaze: Woods on top form after 18 holes.

You get the picture. And notice how it applies neatly to Entertainment, Politics, Sports, and no doubt other categories. It can probably be applied to weather depending on what channel you’re watching.